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03 August 2011 @ 04:30 am
Fic: Free Fallin'. PG-13. Andromeda. Narcissa. Bellatrix.  
Title: Free Fallin'
Summary: Falling apart.
Characters/Pairings: Andromeda Black, Narcissa Black, Bellatrix Black
Genre: Angst? Drama? IDK
Rating/Warnings: PG-13; Suicide (attempt), character death
Word Count: 2976
A/N: Written for quill_it; 100.1: 1. Broken


Tears were streaming down her face, blurring her sight. She’d locked herself into her bathroom, crying, sobbing… Still had not been able to stop, hours later. It had already become dark outside, only the moon, shining through the window, enlightened the room she’d escaped to.
Andromeda did not even have memory of what had made her so desperate, whether there even was a reason… She’d cried often in the past few days, had hardly been able to hide her despair any longer. Her despair, her anger…
She started to scream, screamed as loud as she could, not caring about being heard, not caring about anything… Took a candlestick from the drawer, throwing it against the mirror that burst into a thousand pieces.
Andromeda, the middle child! Good for nothing! A failure, nothing but a failure! You’re not worth calling yourself a Black… Her parent’s voices were resounding in her head, talking to her, as if they were standing right next to her…
She sank down to the floor, still sobbing, firmly pressing her hands against her ears to make them stop… Stop shouting at her, stop trying to drive her insane… But they wouldn’t stop. Became louder, only became louder…
“Shut up!” Andromeda screamed, bit her lip until she tasted blood… “Leave me alone… Please… Leave me alone!”
She wouldn’t be able to bear this any longer. Wouldn’t be able go on, not like this… Even her sisters had realized that she’d changed. That she’d become quiet…
“Are you alright?” Cissy had asked her, more than once. Had looked at her, her eyes so full of worries. It had broken Andromeda’s heart to lie to her, but seeing her like this, seeing her so sad, so desperate had hurt her even more. So she’d nodded. Had told her she’d be fine. Had told her she’d not have to worry…
Slowly she wiped away her tears, took a deep breath. Prayed that no one had heard her. Her whole body started to tremble when she felt the shards beneath her fingertips. When she turned her head to look at them, to…
It’d be all so easy. So incredibly easy, so… No. No, she’d not leave her sisters, she’d not just… No!
It’s your only chance to escape Andy, another voice in her head told her. Speaking quietly, gently.
Her only chance… Andromeda hated herself for her thoughts, hated, despised herself so much… Again, she sobbed, barely able to breathe. Did not realize that her hand was still resting on one shard.
Her only chance… Even if she’d have the strength to go on… Would she also have the will? Would she still have the will to live? She’d been broken, months, years ago, irreparably broken. Nothing would ever be able to fix her again.
Her only chance. Carefully, almost lovingly she picked up the shard, stroking over her wrist with the edge…
Do it! they shouted, making her head hurt as if it were about to burst into a thousand pieces… Do it! Or are you too weak? Are you too weak even for this?
“No!” she screamed, shaking her head, while tears started to flow down her cheeks again. “I’m not weak… I’m not weak…”
But then… Then, Andromeda started to laugh, all of a sudden. It’d be over. It’d finally be over… She’d never have to hear those voices again… She’d be free… Free!
But her sisters? Bella… Cissy…
Do it!
Do it… Do it… She closed her eyes when she made the first cut. Opened them again just a second after, staring at the blood billowing from her wrist… The pain seemed to overwhelm her, she became dizzy, so incredibly dizzy… Could hear Bellatrix’s voice from outside, could hear her call her name… No… No, this was impossible! Bellatrix could not be here, could impossibly be here! This was only her imagination… Nothing but her imagination…
Another cut. This time deeper. Longer. More blood streaming out of her wound, dropping down to the floor… Again, Andromeda closed her eyes. It’d be over…
Bellatrix’s voice from outside became louder, but she did not care. Did not care about anything, felt how she slowly lost consciousness…
She wouldn’t even realize how the door opened, how Bellatrix came running into the bathroom, sank down to the floor, her face covered with her hands.
“Andy!” she shouted, looking down at the floor, her sister’s wrists, at the shard in her hand… She closed her eyes, just to open them again, just to see Andromeda’s blood everywhere… She took her shoulders, started to shake her, to shake her lifeless body, desperately trying to wake her up…
“No…” she whispered, over and over again, felt how tears started to flow down her face... She was unable to control her feelings any longer, unable to even think clearly… Carefully she sat her up, leaning her against her own body, took out her wand, trying to heal Andromeda’s wounds… Nothing. She ripped off two stripes of her cloak, tightly wrapping them around her sister’s wrists to at least make the bleeding stop…
Narcissa. Of course… Narcissa… She’d know what to do, she’d know how to heal the wounds!
“Cissy!” Bellatrix screamed, screamed on top of her lungs, over and over again, praying she’d hear her… Praying she’d be at home… She’d not get up to look for her, wouldn’t leave Andromeda alone, wouldn’t leave her alone dying…
“Be strong Andy…” she whispered into her ear, sobbing, barely able to breathe… “Please… Be strong… Keep up… It’ll be alright, Andy, everything will be alright! Just… Don’t die…”
The door opened, for the second time within only a few minutes… Opened and Narcissa entered the room, her eyes wide open with fright… She’d immediately realized what had happened, sank down on her knees, quickly removing the blood soaked pieces of Bellatrix’s cloak.
Hastily she wiped away her tears, letting her wand slide over the cuts while she healed them, whispering words Bellatrix was unable to understand.
Silence followed. Her hands were trembling when she caught a package that had just fallen down from a shelf, when she started to carefully bandage Andromeda’s wrists.
Narcissa closed her eyes, exhausted… Opened them again, turned to Bellatrix, looking at her, pale as a ghost. She seemed unable to speak, even unable to breathe… Tears were streaming down her face.
Seconds passed, but they seemed like minutes, almost like hours. None of them spoke a word when they rose, when they slowly brought Andromeda to her room, lying her down on her bed.
Carefully Bellatrix braced her sister’s head while Narcissa reached for three vials that were filled with red and purple liquids and emptied them into her mouth, making sure she’d not choke.
“Blood-Replenishing Potion,” she said quietly, gently stroking over Andromeda’s forehead. “And something to sleep. She needs rest now… Much rest.”
Again, silence followed. Narcissa closed her eyes, covered her face with her hands... And started to cry, to uncontrollably cry… As if it had taken her until now to realize what had been going on, what Andromeda had…
She sank down to the edge of her sister’s bed, turning her head to look at her, still sobbing...
“She looks as if she were dead…” she whispered, hardly audible, unable to suppress a wince. Even the bare imagination of Andy being… No. No, she wouldn’t finish her thought. It’d be too painful…
Briefly Narcissa looked into Bellatrix’s eyes. Gasped for breath when she saw her, staring at the wall, pale like a ghost, her whole body trembling.
“Bella?” she asked, quietly, reaching out for her hand. But her sister wouldn’t respond. Wouldn’t even move… As if she were paralyzed.
“You saved her,” Bellatrix said eventually, after a long period of silence. Narcissa barely recognized the sound of her voice. Quiet, husky. As if she’d not spoken for a long time, as if every word would cause her great exhaustion…
“You saved her, Cissy! She’d… She’d have died if… If you’d not been here, I… I wouldn’t have known what to do. I’d just have watched her die…”
Now it was Narcissa to remain silent.
Hours had passed and none of them had slept. Had dared to fall asleep in case Andromeda would open her eyes… They’d not talked, had not spoken a word. Just sat there at their sister’s bed, holding hands with theirs, silently flowing down their cheeks.
Andromeda had slept the entire day, had not woken up until late at night when their parents had already gone to bed. Their parents… They’d not even asked for her, had not even wondered why she’d never left her room, why Bellatrix would not return to her husband, had not wondered why Narcissa’s eyes were red and swollen as if she’d cried during the whole night. Nothing seemed to have happened. Nothing.
Softly Bellatrix stroked over Narcissa’s hair, holding her in a tight but gentle embrace. She’d fallen asleep in her arms, exhausted, unable to keep her eyes open any longer. She’d saved her… Had saved her sister’s life while Bellatrix had been paralyzed with fright and fear… Unable to think, unable to move… Guilt seemed to overwhelm her, to almost crush her. She’d have died… Andromeda would have died if Narcissa had not been here, here to…
Sometimes Bellatrix forgot that Cissy was still a girl, just a girl! So young, so fragile… But at the same time stronger than anyone else. She shouldn’t be forced to go through all this, none of them should.
All of a sudden anger seemed to take over control over Bellatrix, started to rule her body, her thinking… Everything. How could she have been so selfish, how? How dared Andromeda attempting to leave them, to leave them without a word of goodbye? Who, what had hurt her so much that she’d not seen another chance than to escape to death?
She’d not realized that Andromeda had opened her eyes. That she’d sat up in her bed, looked at her sisters, her light brown eyes having lost any of their former expression.
Slowly Bellatrix raised her head, her and Andromeda’s gazes crossed… She freed herself from Narcissa’s arms, carefully, trying not to wake her. She wiped away her sister’s tears before she rose, took a step forward. None of them spoke a word. They just looked, stared at each other, as if they’d met for the first time after many years of being separated. As if they’d hardly be able to believe what they saw…
Andromeda opened her mouth, wanted to speak, wanted to speak a word… But no sound would escape from her throat. Bellatrix sat down at the edge of her bed, looking deeply into her sister’s eyes… And slapped her, slapped her right into the face.
“Don’t you dare to ever do that to me again…” she hissed into her ear.
Andromeda gasped for breath. Could not suppress a sob. Never had she heard her sister talk to her like this before… But what would she expect? What would she expect after everything she’d done… Bellatrix had turned away from her, but Andromeda could see, feel that she was crying…
“Bella…” she whispered hardly audible, could feel how tears started to stream down her face. “Bella, please… Look at me…”
Nothing.
“Bella! I’m sorry!”
“Your waking Narcissa,” Bellatrix said coldly, rose, ready to leave the room. But she didn’t. Didn’t leave, turned around to look at her… Her eyes red, her face wet with tears… It broke Andromeda’s heart to see her like this, to know that it had all been her fault…
“You shouldn’t have saved me…” she whispered, more to herself than to anyone else. “You should’ve just let me die…”
Bellatrix started to scream. Screamed as if Andromeda’s words had caused her unspeakable pain, pain she was hardly able to bear…
“Why are you saying this?” she shouted, not caring about Narcissa being asleep anymore. “Tell me Andromeda, why? Why are you saying this? Can’t you see how much it hurts? Can’t you see that even the bare thought of losing you would mean our certain death, both, Narcissa’s and mine? Oh Andy…”
She sat down on her bed again, pulling her into a close embrace, carefully, trying not to hurt her.
“Who has done this to you?” she asked, barely audible. “Who’s hurt you like this, who?”
Andromeda did not reply.
“Andy, please, you need to tell me…” she whispered, biting her lip in a desperate attempt to not start sobbing. “What has made you want to die?”
Silence.
Bellatrix closed her eyes, for no longer than a second. She did not recognize her sister anymore, did not recognize the girl she was holding in her arms… This was not Andy, no… No, this could impossibly be her… Broken like a porcelain doll.
Gently she stroked over her forehead, frowned… Her movement froze, but her hand rested on Andromeda’s skin. This could not be possible… Bellatrix had never been much of a healer, but Andromeda was feverish, obviously feverish… She took a step back, looking into her sister’s eyes that seemed to be staring at a point far away from here…
“Andy?” she asked carefully, but her sister wouldn’t respond. Another try… Nothing. As if she’d not even notice her sister was talking to her… Until she started to whisper, to whisper things Bellatrix did not understand…
“Where am I?” Andromeda asked, all of a sudden, looked at Bellatrix, her eyes wide open with fright, as if she’d not recognize her own sister…
Bellatrix turned around, turned to Narcissa, wanted to call her name... But she’d already gotten up, looked at her sisters…
“What’s going on?” she asked, her tone of voice rushed, worried. She’d not wait for Bellatrix’ reply, carefully touched Andromeda’s forehead…
“Goodness…”
She bit her lip, took a deep breath… Slowly let her fingertips slide over Andromeda’s wrists, who winced with pain...
“No… No! Gods, please!” she whispered, over and over again while hastily removing the bandages from Andromeda’s hands. “Please… Don’t let this be true…”
“What is it?” Bellatrix asked barely audible, frightened by Narcissa’s reaction. “Cissy, what is it!”
Narcissa did not respond. Stared at her sister’s wrists that were red and swollen, her eyes wide open, took her pulse, desperately trying to count her heart’s beats.
“We need to take her to the hospital Bella,” she said eventually, looking up to Bellatrix who was still standing there, next to Andromeda’s bed. “Now. We can’t lose time…”
Andromeda started to cough before Bellatrix had the chance to answer. Started to cough as if she were choking, wanted to jump up but Narcissa held her back. Removed her hair from her face, gently stroked over her back while she vomited.
“It’s alright, Andy…” she whispered into her ear, trying to calm her down, trying to at least control her breathing… “Shh… Sweetheart… Shh… It’s alright… Everything’s alright…”
Finally Andromeda seemed to have calmed down. Still breathing heavily she sank down to her pillow, her eyes closed.
“I’m so sorry…” she whispered hardly audible, but Narcissa just laid a hand on her lips, quietly shaking her head. She looked up to Bellatrix, looked deeply into her eyes…
“Tell Mother,” she formed with her mouth, not wanting Andromeda to hear her words, not wanting her to realize that something was wrong. Bellatrix quickly shook her head, staring at her sister as if she were mad…
“No!” she replied, closing her eyes for no longer than a second. “No, Cissy this… I can’t just-“
“Bellatrix!” Narcissa said firmly, like she’d never talked to her before, interrupting her speech. “Go and tell Mother. Now. I will not say this again. Go!”
“But Cissy…”
“Do you want Andy to die?” Narcissa screamed, all of a sudden, turned her head to look at Andromeda who’d now lost consciousness... “Tell me Bella, do you? Do you want her to die? Because I promise you she will if we’re not going to take her to the hospital within the next few minutes! I may have managed to heal her yesterday but a blood poisoning is way more serious than just a few cuts into the skin!”
Bellatrix turned around, quickly, not speaking a word. Left the room, running. Narcissa sobbed, quietly, felt how tears started to flow down her face. She took her sister’s trembling body into her arms, holding her, cradling her like a child… Whispering into her ear as if she could hear her.
“Be strong, Andy… Please… Be strong, don’t leave us… We need you, Andy… We need you, more than anything else… Please my love, please… Don’t die…”
“I’m so tired…” Andromeda whispered, hardly audible, opened her eyes, to look at her, to briefly look at her. “So tired…”
“No…” Narcissa whispered over and over again, kissing her, stroking over her scorching hot forehead… She’d not let her go, would never let her go again! Andromeda may have wanted to die, but she’d not just give her up without a fight, she’d not just…
“I’d give my life for yours Andy…” she said, quietly, turning away from her to look at the door... Yes. Yes, she’d give her life for her sister’s, she’d die just to know her safe… Just to know she’d survive…
“I love you, Cissy…” Andromeda whispered, barely audible, barely moving her mouth. “I’m so sorry…”
She closed her eyes in the moment the door swung open, the moment Bellatrix entered the room, gasping for breath…
Both of them knew what had happened. Immediately knew, felt their heart break into a thousand pieces at the same time.
“Andy…” Bellatrix whispered, over and over again, running towards her sister’s bed, taking her shoulders, shaking her, shaking her body to force her to open her eyes again, to make her wake up… “Andy, please! Please! Open your eyes! Please!”
But she wouldn’t.