Original Prompt: 120: Andromeda Black: A shadow passed, a shadow passed, yearning, yearning / For the fool it called a home / And it whistles through the ghosts still left behind
Note: Originally written for ladies_fest
Word Count: 1.441
Summary: Andromeda must make a choice between her heart and her family
Notes: Okay, whew! This is so completely different from everything I've ever written! I tried out two entirely new styles and... Well yeah, that's how it turned out!
Also, once again thanks to my eternally amazing beta damianjblack!
I close my eyes as I feel your touch. Your breath against my ear, your fingertips on my skin, stroking over my cheek, caressing me like a child. As I feel your lips against my own.
Your kiss sets my heart, my entire body on fire, takes my breath away. I want to be close to you, want to touch you, to feel you, embrace you and never let you go. But instead I turn away. Won’t even look at you, knowing your gaze will burn me.
“What is it?”
“I’m fine, Ted.”
I do not want to raise my voice against you. Do not want to hurt you, but what else should I do? What else should I say to you? I know that you won’t understand, that you’ll never be able to understand. But how can I explain it to you, if not even I am able to understand? Again you touch me. Try to turn me around.
Again I shout at you, want nothing more than to run, run as fast as I can. I can’t breathe, don’t know where I am. But I won’t move. I know you’d follow me.
“Why did you come here?”
“Because I love you.”
God knows that I love you. That I’d do everything for you, that I would even die to know you safe. But can’t you see that what I love the most is about to break me? That I am falling apart, that every minute, every second I spend in your presence tears my heart into a thousand pieces. I love you.
I raise my head to look at you, to get lost in your big, pale blue eyes. I feel tears on my cheek, streaming down my face, down to my chest. I love you. Of course I do. But I’m a Black. I’m not supposed to love.
“I’m going to marry him.”
“Because I have to.”
You will never understand. I can see it in your eyes, their expression seems to burn me. I wish you’d leave, I wish you’d finally realize in what danger you put yourself in. Both of us. I love you. I want to scream it out to the world, I want to take your hand and just fly, fly away from all this. But I can’t. I open my mouth to speak but I almost choke on my tears.
Would you catch me if I fell? Would you hold me if I stumbled? Of course you would.
I’m going to marry. I am going to marry who I have been promised to, a man I barely know. But he is a Pureblood, his family even older than ours. Isn’t that all that matters? A name? Blood? Isn’t that everything to worry about? I wish I knew. I wish I’d understand.
You reach out your hand to brush away my tears. But they won’t stop flowing, start to blur my sight. I can’t even see you any more.
You should not be here. You should not be talking to me, holding me in your arms, comforting me.
I love you. Of course I do. But I am a Black. And Blacks are not supposed to forget about who they are.
“Leave now, Ted.”
“Promise me that I’ll see you again.”
I hear my sister’s voices from downstairs. I hear their steps on the stairs, coming nearer and nearer. I can’t breathe, bite my lip until I taste blood in my mouth. I am going to marry. I am going to marry in less than twenty-four hours.
Now it’s me to wipe away my tears, again I look at you, for no longer than a second. My eyes tell you to leave, but you won’t move. Still. You don’t understand that they’re going to kill you if they see you, that they’re going to kill both of us.
“Tell me that you love me.”
“I love you.”
I can’t keep control over my voice any longer. It starts to break, to tremble. I love you.
Their voices grow louder. I hear them call my name, but I won’t respond. Again I tell you to leave. My entire body starts to shake as I try to turn you around. I want to scream, want to shout at you but only a sob will escape from my lips. Instead I hit you, try to force you to leave, to finally leave!
I love you. I love you! Can’t you see that it’s impossible for us to be together? That we don’t have a chance? The more we want each other the more we drift apart, no matter how much we try, we are destined to fail.
Your hands touch my shoulders, I try to refuse but you only fasten your grip. You’re stronger than me, I don’t have a chance. Firmly you sit me down on my bed, force me to look into your eyes.
“Run away with me.”
“Of course you can.”
“I’m serious. Run away with me. Before it’s too late.”
You don’t see that it’s too late already. Of course you don’t. You’re blind, blind with love. I wish I could open your eyes, I wish I could save you, but it seems impossible.
You know I want nothing more than to run away with you. I want nothing more than to leave all this behind, turn away from my parents and my duties, to just spread my wings and fly. I want to be free, Ted. I want to be free with you.
But I will never be free. I will never be able to escape, to just turn away from everything. I will never be able to see you again once you leave.
I love you. Of course I love you. You are my everything. But I cannot escape my fate.
“Tonight, Dromeda. When they’re sleeping.”
I’m going to marry. I’m going to marry… Why can’t it be you? Why can’t I be happy, for once, just for once?
They’d never accept you. Even you know. Even you see it. But how can you be so naïve? How can you still believe that everything will be all right? I wish you’d wake up. That you’d finally wake up.
I love you. But I have to deny your existence, even though it tears me apart, even though kills me, every day a bit more. I close my eyes, dizzy, tired.
Silence. Nothing but silence, silence that crushes me, drowns me.
I wish I’d never asked you to speak. Should have known your words would hurt me even more. Again, silence.
We’re going to run away. Away from my fears, my family. Away from everything. We’re going to run away…
“Leave, Ted. Before they see you.”
“Four hours. Then they’ll be sleeping.”
Your kiss burns on my lips, your smile sets my entire body on fire. But finally you turn around. Finally you leave, not seeing my tears any more, not hearing my sobs.
The hours pass, silently. I cannot move, cannot breathe, cannot believe what I promised to you. I almost scream, hearing your voice behind my back. You sound so happy, so excited. I don’t even want to look at you.
I see how you take my suitcase, feel how you touch my shoulder. I cry. We’re going to run away.
I rise, take my wand from my bedside locker. My hands are trembling. I love you. I love you! Always. Finally I turn around.
Your eyes are glowing with excitement. We’re going to run away. I raise my arm, my wand still in my hand.
“What are you doing?”
I don’t know. I’m unable to think, unable to look at you. I am saving your life. I love you, pray that you will forgive me.
“Let’s go. Before they wake up.”
“What are you doing?”
My wand falls down to the floor. You still look at me, your eyes wide open. You don’t recognize me.
“Where am I?”
I open my mouth to speak but no sound escapes from my lips. I choke on my tears, my sobs seem to suffocate me. You take a step backwards, still not turning away from me. The expression on your face terrifies me. You don’t recognize me...
“Who are you?”
“No one. I’m… I’m no one…”
You don’t recognize me. It’s over. Everything’s over. Nothing remains but a shadow, slowly fading away in the darkness. I love you.